given that march came much more quickly than it ever has in previous years, there was some strange compulsion to do an “early” season ride this year.. solvang century. training the past few weeks was rough, given the rain and cold temperatures (yeah yeah, i know! we live in california. relativity, schmelativity, riding in 40 degree weather while its raining sucks.. wherever you’re at.)
a week before the ride, i FINALLY got my wheel issues resolved (see previous post), and everything was coming together. rangsiwan, benito and i headed down to solvang friday afternoon after me spending 20 minutes sweating on top of their car trying to get my yakima wheel fork mounted, only to realize it wouldn’t fit the wheel once my bike was mounted onto the tray. great. never try anything new before a ride. and that includes new wheel mounting techniques.
we stopped by some ramen joint in san jose to get a quick lunch for the apparently 4 hour ride down (why didn’t i know that solvang was closer to los angeles than it was to the bay when i signed up?). ill let you in on a little secret. eating soup will sometimes give me the runs at the most inopportune times. mostly when im not allowed to have the runs, i.e. long drives, going out with girls, the night before a longass bike ride.. aka anytime a toilet is not readily accessible). sure, TMI, but you’ll thank me the next time we go out for ramen. i stuck with the vegetable chicken stir fry. my stomach was happy with the choice.
we got into solvang around 6pm. the drive wasn’t as long as i thought it’d be, but of course, none of that mattered since i didn’t do any of the driving. i was backseat passenger extraordinaire. i checked us into our hotel room at solvang inn & cottages. the lady behind the desk must have been in her late 40′s, maybe even 50′s. she stood up too look at my sleeve, and i thought she was going to make some off comment about tattoos, but she complimented me, and proceeded to tell me about the tattoos she wanted to get. and then she proceeded to tell me about her piercings. and where they were at. and my ears proceeded to bleed.
our hotel room was at the annex, about a block away from the main office, and about two blocks away from the start. it was a large room, with kitchen, king bed, vaulted ceilings, and a view of the parking lot. my rollaway bed was there already.. because it just wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the world if i shared a bed with rangsiwan and benito, and not everyone else.
we walked to hotel corque start village to get our start packets. when we got there, i completely missed the step down from the curb and almost fkd myself up. i stared at the ground for the rest of the evening. they gave us a magnetic solvang button, safety pins, jersey bib and bike number.. and road rash cream. really? was it because i almost took a spill in the parking lot and i wasn’t even on the bike? why don’t you just take my ass and drag it across the asphalt. there was a huge map that had the routes and the route profiles marked. i pointed at the large grade at what looked like mile 74, and i asked exactly where it started.. he said mile 93. maaan. it says it starts in the 70s. i came to realize later he meant the last hill, affectionately called “the wall”. more on “the wall” later. we walked around the festival for a bit.. it seemed like most of the folks there.. “recreational” type folks. sure, i don’t look like a hardcore rider, and look more like a food tester, but i’ll tell you right now, i looked more like a rider than 90% of the folks out there. we concluded that all the serious riders were there earlier and were already in bed, getting rest for the ride the next day. great.
we went to dinner at the chumash casino. it was casino buffet fare, so i didn’t expect much. i’m guessing they didn’t either, because they didn’t have pasta. not a problem. i’m not usually one for carb loading the night before (didn’t you see the episode of the office when michael decided to carbo load?).. so i split my plate between chinese food and american food. yes. they had chinese food for some reason. nothing tasted all that great, but i’m also assuming it was the mild taste of throwup in my mouth from all the worrying i was doing about the ride. i pulled a meatloaf smeatloaf double beatloaf moment because i grabbed a bunch of desserts, none of which tasted like dessert.
after dinner, we headed back to the hotel to prep for the next day. revenge of the nerds was on tv! there is nothing better than watching a good classic comedy the night before a ride. completely relaxes you and lets you laugh a little before the crying you do the next day. good tv and catchy music. the best remedies to settle the nerves. garcia had sent me a link to a youtube video by samwell called “what what (in da butt)”. i’ll stop here for a second while you find that video on youtube…
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IT’S GREAT ISN’T IT? what a better way to start a bike ride by singing the words “what what.. in the butt!” every few minutes! rangsiwan kept me entertained by trying to think of all the old school slow songs we all used to listen to. i kept her entertained with any and every catchy mainstream pop radio song in my head.. including but not limited to “damaged” by danity kane (mostly just the part that goes “daaaamaged! daaaamaged! i thought that something something something” because that’s all i really knew).. samwell, and mint condition. she hit back with “daiiiichi daiiiiichi”! you need to watch revenge of the nerds if you just don’t know.
the route was good for the most part. the first 20ish miles were nearly all downhill, with a few rollers after that. in fact, most of the ride was rollers, including a few bitchass climbs at the beginning, nothing too harrowing. it was a cold morning, so the hills were welcomed because it gave me a chance to warm up and prevent teeth chatter. there were a lot of people on the course.. there wasn’t ever a moment during the day when we weren’t in contact with other folks. the rest stops were well stocked, toilet lines were expected but the water lines were non-existent. i didn’t bother trying any of the food since i limited myself to clif bloks to keep myself “light”. we hit the rest stop at mile 73, and “boot scootin’ boogie” was playing. for some reason i knew that the song was called “boot scootin boogie” and promptly blurted it out. a few white folks chuckled when i said i knew the song. again, TMI.
we hit the mile 74 climb shortly after. it wasn’t really a climb since it was stretched about for 10 miles.. but i guess on paper, its a hill. it was mostly upward facing rollers. nothing too difficult. i was feeling good at that point. no booty pain, legs were slightly heavy, but feeling good.. i was cold, but the rollers kept me warmed up. before we hit the last hill, i ran into a damsel in distress. i dunno about the rest of you, but if i see folks on the side of the road, i always check if they’re okay. its common courtesy. you never know when you’ll need help one day. as i ride by, i ask if she’s okay. she replies with “actually, no.. can you help me with my chain?” i dismount, and walk over to help her. her chain is off the ring and she says she can’t get it back onto the large ring. i take a look, and say “oh.. well i think you’ll need to shift to the big ring if you want me to put the chain back on the big ring”.. she slaps her forehead and goes.. “OHHH. that’s right. i shifted to the little ring right before it fell off. that’s why we couldn’t get it back on!” ha. i think they wasted 20 minutes figuring that one out. beautiful. im always happy when a mechanical gets resolved. on a sidenote, this reminds me of little mechanical i helped out with on the last 5 miles of the 2005 aids lifecycle ride. this lady got a flat, and i offered to change it for her. the other two guys i was riding with stopped with me, but just chilled while i changed the tire (besides, its a one person affair). another rider stops by laughing, and says “how many gay guys does it take to change a tire?”, and one of the guys i was riding with replies back with “none. the straight guy is changing the tire.” HAHAHAHA.
around mile 80, we hit a fairly large hill. it was definitely a gutbuster, with enough blind turns to psychologically damage you because you realized after the turn that there was still more hill to go. when i’m climbing, i prefer people to stay away from me. don’t follow me because it’ll make me work harder and shoot my heart rate up. don’t ride next to me because then i’ll think i’m going too fast for you to pass me. don’t talk to me, because i will pass out if i attempt to use anymore oxygen. don’t ride in front of me, going the same speed as me.. because i’ll wanna pass you. in other words, i need to climb alone.. perhaps on a different planet. the descent on the other side was good, and it led us straight to another rest stop. there was another hill left.. one the locals called “the wall”. they all made it sound daunting, and said there was some large switchback at the top. it was anticlimactic, to say the least. there was a little turn at the top.. it felt like a switchback, maybe. but the previous hill was much worse. we eventually hit the same little hill that the tour of california used during the solvang time trial. definitely cool to ride where the pros did.
on the last incline, an suv nearly swiped me by a few inches… but nothing could contain my excitement and joy.. we crossed the line.. in 6:37 worth of ride time. not bad at all. we were all happy with the results, especially it being so early in the year.
post-ride, we cleaned up, and got a beer. the server working there said we could take pictures of us drinking beer and post it up on “the facebook”. post-drink, we headed to the hitching post in casmalia, where rangsiwan ate STEAK, just for my jerkday and to celebrate the ride. yesssss.
before we left on sunday, we ate at paula’s for some pancakes.. then ate danishes and sweets for the next 3 hours. and bought $14 buckets of cookies.
the end.